I’ve had an extended family member and the son of a long time, dear friend both die in a short period of time. Attending the funerals and watching those I care for suffer in grief defies my ability to find the words to describe.
When someone is dealing with a loss and you don’t know the right thing to say, it’s probably because there is not a right thing to say.
Here’s a few additional thoughts I have in my experience in walking along side those who grieve:
- Limit biblical platitudes: If they are a follower of Jesus, there may be a moment to quote a verse, however it’s best not to use scripture as a scalpel to attempt to surgically remove the pain – especially too soon. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in the timing.
- Share in their weeping: Even Jesus wept at his friend’s tomb and with the family. The feeling of loss can be lonely. This can be a helpful way to share their burden.
- Be there, and beyond: Being available and offering help can aid in their healing. Bring food, cutting the lawn or even a text message check in later demonstrates thoughtfulness. Even remembering to send a message every few months for the first year helps, as they will encounter several “firsts” in the year ahead.
As a follower of Christ, hope doesn’t cancel our grief. Grief is real as we navigate through the process. Yet, we hold to the hope that we serve a risen King – not a dead one – and one day we will be with him and reunited with those we love.
Richard Bahr 