Why does my heart hurt when I learn of suffering from my friends of color? I am drawn to news stories of injustice, and I am always interested in the accounts my black and brown friends share with me of their struggles attributed to color. I even sought out a visiting black pastor at our church who works with other black and brown pastors to plant churches in urban areas just to introduce myself and visit with him briefly. Why was I drawn to meet him?

Why do I have such an interest in matters in the black and brown communities?

I do have an African American – adopted – brother who is six years my junior. We not only grew up as siblings but operated and sold our family business together. Perhaps that’s part of it.

Having worked in urban ministry for nearly two decades, I’ve listened to many accounts of hardship: one parent families, urged into gang life, poverty and hopelessness shared by my black and brown brothers. It hurts to listen to these life stories by men about my age, when in a parallel life, I endured none of this trauma.

Is it because I have “white guilt”? That I feel bad for the “privilege” I have being white, so to compensate I feel bad or guilty for what advantages I’ve had, with being white a contributing factor?

There may be possibilities with all the aforementioned. Yet those don’t resolve the feeling in the depth of my heart and the unquenchable interest in this people group.

Psalm 34:18 ESV states, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” How does he do that? He certainly can and does provide a peace “which surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7 ESV) in our hearts when we community with him. He also uses people to do his great works (John 14:12 ESV), to intervene on others’ behalf (Amos 7:4-6 ESV) and to hold those and cry tears with the despairing and brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3 ESV).

I have a desire to be with broken people. I want to be in the presence of those who have been wronged, who hurt and struggle. I want to put salve on their wounds, care for them and be a light in their darkness.

I also have great respect and deep reverence for those who have suffered in a way that is beyond my understanding.

Jesus incarnate did the same while in his ministry hear on earth. He healed the lepers (social outcasts), dined with the tax collectors (despised, despicable people) and befriended a prostitute (enough said). The people of privilege in his day were warned, not rewarded. No accolades were given to those in power or control. He spent much of his time with the “have nots”.

I hope to continue to pursue Christ’s heart and that he would continue to break my heart over what breaks his heart. And in the end, maybe some comfort and hope will be dispensed by God, through me to my black and brown friends. In any case, I know that I will know Jesus and his heart more and more as I continue to pursue him in this.