So I write on this blog, have a couple of published works and have an active life of serving Jesus and the people I believe he loves a great deal – the poor and diminished among us.
Wouldn’t you think I would have great prayer life.
Me, too. I would expect that. The truth is, I’ve been struggling on and off during the past year and a half in feeling like I’m connecting to God.
Ah, that word, “feeling”. So if I don’t feel something, it’s not real?
I read on the internet – so it must be true (snicker, here) that there are 222 recorded prayers in the Bible. There’s a big emphasis on praying, connecting and being in relationship with God in scripture. Jesus modeled this for us. He would often get up early and go off alone and pray. So do I don’t pray when I feel like it or when it feels good to me.
I am married and I love my wife. Some days it’s easier to love her than others. She may say there are more days she’s lovable than me. It’s not uncommon to not feel love every moment of every day, but when in a committed relationship, we continue to do the things we know we must because we’re responsible for our part. I have a duty to hold up my end of the deal to keep the relationship healthy. Sometimes that may mean just listening to her or figuring out a way to help her with something she needs (e.g. serve her) which takes my mind off of me and places her needs ahead of my own. Sure, there’s many times I “feel” I love her. But I’m called to love her 100% of the time, not only when I feel like it.
In my relationship with God, he never leaves; I do. He’s always there waiting on me to approach him. I’m called to love him 100% of the time, even when I don’t feel like it. I must hold up my end of the deal and do my part. Even when I don’t feel like it. God has always been faithful and he’ll see me through my drought. I know this. So my job is to keep showing up.
A quote that is attributed to Mother Theresa when asked about the success of her mission in Calcutta said, “we’re not called to be successful; we’re called to be faithful.” The success of my prayer life doesn’t matter, but my faithfulness does.
So, I’ll keep showing up in God’s presence. I know he’s there. I will be faithful. How’s your prayer life? Ever struggled with this? I’d love to hear from you.
Richard Bahr 