Forgiveness seems to be falling out of vogue. In this modern world, there is little room for or the need to forgive others. We are urged to take care of ourselves and even taking revenge is seen by some as healthy. Search on the net for “How to get revenge” and you’ll find a playbook.

The truth is there is no forgiveness without sacrifice – it costs the forgiver but ultimately brings healing. Pastor Tim Keller said, “Forgiveness is a form of voluntary suffering. It is absorbing the debt of the sin yourself.”

As Believers we know the ultimate example for this was Jesus. He forgave, he suffered, and he absorbed the debt we owed.

There is an old saying by those in 12 step / recovery meetings, “Revenge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Holding a grudge only hurts the one hanging on to it. It does not have the desired effect on the other person we think we may want it to have. Forgiveness is what sets us free.

Forgiveness aligns our heart with God’s. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13 ESV. When we consider the weight of our sin being bore by Christ voluntarily and the price he paid, we have a hard time justifying the grudge we may continue to hold.

Also, consider there may be good things that God can make from the event or relationship that caused the resentment in the first place. In the Bible, Joseph would be a guy that could have easily held a resentment against his brothers. Dropping him in a pit, selling him into slavery, left for dead. God put Joseph in a position to save his family from famine, and he wouldn’t have been able to do that without his brothers’ sinful actions which ultimately led to him rising to a powerful position. At the end of his life, Joseph forgave his brothers and said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” – Genesis 50:20 ESV

I recognize this is difficult work and I don’t mean to diminish any situation that you may have been that was terribly harmful or abusive. Even in the most tragic of circumstances, forgiveness provides a way out of your agony. Yet, it does require sacrifice on your part.

Here’s a few practical steps to practice sacrificial forgiveness:

• Recognize: Acknowledge the pain caused by the other person but choose to absorb it rather than retaliate. There is a weight associated with this.
• Pray: Seek God’s help and strength to forgive as He forgives. Pray for good things for the other person.
• Reconcile: Where possible, take steps to restore the relationship. Only seek this if you sense it will not cause further harm to you or the other person.
• Repeat: Forgiveness is ongoing. It may require revisiting and reaffirming the decision to forgive.

Forgiveness is one of the key things we are called upon to do as Followers of Jesus, and among the most difficult. Yet the results of this can be liberating and transformative for your life.

Take a moment and consider – who do I need to forgive today?